Normality in the time of COVID-19 by Luis Lobo 11-28-20

 

                                                              LGL and Toby Lobo 2020

WELL.....its been an adjustment, sometimes by the day. Our children are grown, and with the exception of my nephew Andres Arce, soon completing his first semester at Appalachian State University; Debbie and I have had to learn how to spend time together and apart.

We are fortunate to not have been directly impacted by Covid, other than a mild case for my sister, brother and my Mom.  My sister does not think it is mild as she is still without her sense of taste or smell. 

Not related to Covid, was the tragic loss of our 16 year-old blue-headed Amazon, Santana. He fell from his perch within his big cage, which has not been unusual. But this time he lingered, with his wings spread and squawked. Within seconds, Debbie handed me a small towel, which I wrapped around him, thinking he may have a broken wing. When I lifted him to me, his neck went sideways and he quietly died in my arms. The grief is still with us, and may be for a long time. Debbie had been so careful with that bird since she and my kids retrieved him from BWI airport, as a hatchling, during our years living in Frederick, MD. On a recent visit to our animal clinic in Winston Salem for our dog Paco's check up, the veterinarian; who happened to have studied large birds, told Debbie that an aneurysm is not uncommon with large birds. Thus we were comforted that Santana did not suffer and was reunited with his creator in the blink of an eye.

But the hole in our heart remains...thank goodness we have Paco, our Maltese who brightens up our days and keeps us company during our nights.

I have worked from home since March, grateful to have a job, now in my 37th year with the bank - Charlotte is my 13th relocation, and other than some final move to a retirement community someday, my last. It has been said that ignorance is the greatest scourge of mankind, I would argue that isolation is a close second. I miss my team mates, I miss my client travel from PA to FL to TX. I long for interaction even as the working hours merge into 10-12 hours as one looses a sense of time. Making time to walk upstairs to eat lunch was the first required change.  Then I decided that I would wear my work clothes, after my morning workout, followed by a visit to Starbucks.  This was my normal routine in Winston Salem and it took me some months to reestablish it here in Charlotte. 

Anxiety has been widely reported during this time, and most people are not immune from it. There for awhile I was attending church on Sunday mornings, until they cancelled with the fall surge.  Being with people is necessary, even for an introvert. This past week we celebrated Thanksgiving on Zoom. Our children, who live in NYC, Baltimore and the Pinehurst area decided, as the old Costa Rican saying goes: "Each in his own home and God with everyone". Christmas will be the same, and I WILL TAKE IT!  

Debbie is an interior design and decorating master and has been busy making our new house our home. She is even keeled, very rational, and very understanding of our collective feelings. I love her very much and am grateful to have her as my wife and partner.  The disaster of 2020 would be magnified if she was not in our lives. One of the things my sister Martha, my mother Marta and I have done several times a week, at 8:30 at night, is to pray the Rosary. The Rosary is a form of meditation, connects us around something familiar and we get to speak to one another several times a week.  This has been good for all the reasons one would imagine.  My mother is a strong 78, without underlying conditions and has the most profound faith I have ever encountered (I was raised by Benedictine Monks at nearby Belmont Abbey Church) and that says a lot. We are all so thankful to have our mother in our lives, in good health, even at a distance.

I have been in the banking industry my entire career, 37 years with the same bank through an iteration of mergers. I love banking because it helps people accomplish the goal of their lives. THAT is my WHY - to help people accomplish the financial goals of their lives. It takes engagement, persistence and endurance. Since 2012 I have been responsible for multicultural banking, which we invented at heritage BBT now TRUIST.  We will make it bigger with the merger of SunTrust, with nearly 900 branches designated as multicultural banking centers serving the public with cultural and linguistic skills. Like I said we invented multicultural banking in 2002 as we began to understand the rapidly changing demographics of our footprint and the USA. Most people today will do many of their banking transactions on their telephone. But we teach them how to budget, how to responsibly own a home and how to grow their business. It is through a massive network of organizations in the faith, community action and education platforms that our MC Banking Center Branch Leaders engage with these audiences several times a year.  People do business with people they enjoy being with and TRUST. Some decide to become our clients...

Did I tell you I miss my team mates, my clients and visiting our far-flung communities?

BUT this TOO SHALL PASS.  I dare science deniers to NOT take the vaccine when it is made available, and not soon enough. But most will even as they are able to bifurcate their beliefs. Finally, we have a new administration that has been elected to lead the country. 

The operative word here is LEAD. We need leadership on this small planet we call Earth. The entire planet has been touched by this scourge and most people have been impacted in some form or manner. My grandparents spoke of the 1918 flu epidemic, even as Costa Rica was not widely impacted; it was. Respect for science, respect for people different that ourselves, respect for another's point of view.  We don't have to agree or feel forced to agree, but we must respect one another. Then progress is possible.

My hero JFK said: "In the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet. We all breath the same air. We all cherish our children's future. And we are all mortal". 

Yes we are all mortal and time is too precious for what does NOT matter.  Maybe mutual respect will be reborn because of what matters.

Just think about it.....

DO NOT EVER confuse kindness with weakness!

                   DO NOT EVER confuse kindness with weakness!


DNA is very strong in determining not only familial features, but maybe more so, temperament.

My “23 & ME”  came back as 15% Greek/Roman, 48% Iberian (Spain Portugal), 25% Native American, and 15% other...(narrative:  Romans conquered the known world, including the Iberian Peninsula (Spain and Portugal), then the Spanish and Portuguese discovered and invaded the Americas, taking Native American wives, etc).

Our family in Costa Rica, at any given time, produced white skinned and brown haired, darker skinned and black haired, light or coal-black eyed children. Temperaments range from withdrawn/shy to alert, ebullient own-the-room personalities. In my generation women proliferate as nature makes more females than males for obvious reasons.  The temperament scale is mainly measured with the exception being a few at polar opposites.

My younger brother Carlos Andres Lobo Arce, born in 1964 is the kindest, most helpful, a workhorse and honorable. He resembles, in looks and temper, our great-grandfather Jorge Salas, unwed father to my grandmother Felicia Gonzales Herrera; both strong personalities.  Carlos is more observant, where I am more vocal.

                                               Carlos and Roberto circa 1969 Costa Rica

In either kindergarten or 1st grade, when we had returned to Costa Rica to live with our grand-parents, Carlos was enrolled at Escuela David Gonzalez, where several generations had attended in our ancestral Rio Segundo in the province of Alajuela. Carlos was more light-skinned and generally quieter than his peers. On a certain day, after school let out, another student, and maybe older than Carlos, began to pick on him. On the walk home, the older boy was following and taunting Carlos  while other students took notice of the situation. The bully would not let up but Carlos remained silent as a group of students began to form around Carlos and his antagonist.

                    Carlos, Luis with our great-grandfather Jorge Salas c. 1968 Liberia, Costa Rica


I am not sure if the boy pushed Carlos from behind, but the verbal assault continued.  At a certain moment Carlos reached down, picked-up a discarded can with the lid still attached, and flung it, sticking the boy at his brow; which then produced a bloodbath.  He came home and told my grandmother what had happened.  The next day other boys were very deferential to him.

Another event occurred after we had settled in Lincolnton, NC.  Carlos was now in high school, played football and very handsome. Lincolnton has a court house which bifurcates East and West Main Street. Young people would on weekends ride up and down Main Street, while others parked their cars, or no cars like me, and watch their friends cruise back and forth. On a certain Friday or Saturday night, Carlos had parked his car and was visiting with some friends.  Nearby two African-American young ladies were walking down the sidewalk when a male driver pulled up beside them and let loose profanity and racial insults. Carlos walked over and told him to move on and leave those young ladies alone. This redneck, racist and possibly inebriated man began to curse Carlos, pulled his car over and made the mistake of confronting my brother. Carlos told him to leave; he did not.

Mayhem, blood, a torn shirt. Cars stopped as a body lay on the sidewalk.  I believe the police arrived, and the young ladies exculpated my brother as having defended them. The next day the door-bell rang and my mother answered the door. The two young ladies had bought and brought a shirt for
Carlos to replace the torn garment.

Carlos and I were roommates my senior year, his freshman, at Belmont Abbey College.  He was beloved by all, and maybe feared by some.

Carlos, Abbot Placis Soliari and Luis SPE Reunion 2019